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May. 20th, 2008

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UPDATE

UPDATE

Well, I told you guys I'd give little updates once in a while, didn't I?

So basically, here's what's been going on:

  • I will never see Jason Holmes again. Or at least, we both hope. Basically, Jason's crazy. He thinks he knows how I feel, what I think, and decided to fuck me around for three months before exploding into a load of batshit-eating crazy at me. Fuck him, I don't want to have anything to do with him.
  • I got into Northumbria Uni!! Fuck Durham, it's too far away. Before I started this journal, I got turned down from Northumbria Uni, and was pretty much devestated. I got a letter from them yesterday, offering me a part time course in Care and Education! Fucking YES =]
  • Uh.. what else? Art sucks. I have an Art exam in two days, and still a shitload of work to do for it. I hate Art!! But by the end of the week, I'll never have to do it again (well, not in school or anything). So that'll be cool.
And well, since I should go and do that work now, that's all really. Hope you guys are all well xxxx
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May. 6th, 2008

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Goodbyes?

You know, when I got this blog, I was in a shit place. Jason and I had just broken up, among other shitty things, and I suppose this was a fantastic place of comfort, and getting things off my chest.

Through LJ, I've looked back on posts and realised that my life is one completely worth living. I've seen the highs and lows, and completely appreciated my life.

I've made some great friends, too. I really love you guys.

But now I think it's time to go. I'm better now, and I've come to realise, I need to LIVE life, not just write about it.

So, I think, this might be the end of LJ. That said, I'm keeping my account open, and well, I might just come back.

But you guys are all fantastic, you really are. And I'd love to hear from you lot, I've made some great friends. So here they are, the all important contact details. I hope you guys drop me a line or add me on something. I'll give my address too, if you email me.

Thanks a lot guys, it's been a fantastic ride, it really has.

Myspace: www.myspace.com/buried_in_black
Facebook: Facebook | Mel Roberts
Email: mel.jane.roberts@gmail.com
Skype: mel.jane.roberts
Phone: 07882887754

Can't wait to be in contact with you guys.

Until then, goodbye, it's been great,

Mel xxxxxxxxx

May. 4th, 2008

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Mother fuck, mother fuck, noise noise noise

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Oh yea...

.. and Adam, y'know why you were wondering why Jason and I kept disapearing everytime you went for a slash yesterday?

Was because we were making out in your kitchen! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Love you man!
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This week's been a bit of a blur, like, lol!

So, playedinloops, I love you!
Being completely shit-faced last night, I was going to post a pretty overdue update, but then thought "Fuck it, no one cares man, no one's even asked if I'm dead or not". But this morning, playedinloops restored my faith in LJ.

Basically, I've been off my face lol.

Here's how it goes:

It was Adam's birthday this week, so we've been partying pretty hard! It's been pretty cool, Adam's like, my best mate (Jason doesn't count, lol), and sometimes I think there's no one around here parties as hard as we do- but we say FUCK IT and do it anyways, even if it's just the two of us, haha!

So yea, we went to Luckies and Hustlers, with a table FULL of pints, and everything's been in a whirl after that!

On the Jason front: well, I didn't see him a lot in the past couple of weeks, he's been ill, and then on Friday, he sprained his ankle playing football- noes! But he's okay =] Also on that topic, I got a mint text message from his mam yesterday, saying she's really proud of me for getting into Durham and stuff, and I saw Simon, his brother yesterday too. It was really cool, I've missed his family a lot.

Oh yea, and we're going to the cinema on Tuesday, methinks- SCORE!

So it's all going well where Jason's concerned, really. I love him a lot =]

Oh yea, it was free comic book day yesterday- so I got some free comics and then went to Adams.. where I got shit-faced and left them there- SHIT!!

Anything else? Oh yea- COLLEGE SUCKS! Hahah!

There's probably more, I might update again today!

Other than that....

I'm back, ba

Apr. 28th, 2008

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Him.

Remember that dream I had last week?

It happened.

Don't worry, he didn't even see me across the street, and I'm a lot less shook up than I thought I would be. I should have known that this was going to happen, really, Newcastle isn't that big.

The worst part? When I turned around, I really was alone.

I suppose this is just what I needed to force me to get used to the fact I'll be alone now.

Fuck this.

Apr. 26th, 2008

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Fantastic, eh?

Just got this from John, about my photography last night:


(6)Mount.hutton(8) says:
btw i quote
(6)Mount.hutton(8) says:
wow she fantastic! -ma mum

Wow man, people really love my stuff! I saw a few messages on The Offenders' MySpace too, asking about me. Wow, really cool, man! I love how people really like my stuff. This is the best hobby in the world ever. I might take it up as a job in the weekends, while I'm not teaching.. or even now, when I'm not in college or uni I could do it =D

WOW! Thanks to everyone for their lovely comments, I appreciate it a lot!


Just for that, here's another picture:


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The Offenders.

So, last night was the night The Offenders played The Academy. And I was there to take everything in.

I got there about 4.30- before any fucker else, it turns out, as I met Adam and we got stuck waiting for about 20 minutes for the rest of the band. So we got in, with Sexy Chords, while the two other bands still had time to come in. Took all out crap upstairs to the "dressing room"- wanna know what the dressing room was? A tiny corridor with a light up mirror on it. Not even joking. Almost as bad as the Gillman, lmao.

Either way, soundchecks took forever- they were still sounchecking at 7, when the doors were supposed to open. I blame In Cities, who are cunts, after all. Nevermind! On with the show, and I was basically going between the crowd and backstage, like I do. I saw an old friend, Vicki, there, which was really cool. Apart from that, I spent my time making friends- for some reason everyone wanted to be friends with the photographer last night- I didn't mind, really, lol.

So, 15 minutes before Sexy Chords play, they ask me to do their set too. Jesus! I said yes, they were nice enough guys, and on with the set, really. So, here's a photo:




As always, you guys can check out the pictures on my website:
Mel Roberts: Art and Photography


After that, I decided to go out for some air (since I could, muah ha), where I met Kyra, a friend of Jason's. She seemed really nice, I'll have to remember to say hi if I see her in college. Just as I was about to go in, I could hear it. The Offenders went on early. FUCK!! RUN!!!

And up I went to do my set. There was a lot of rushing about, going from one photography spot to the other (with a crowd in between, since there's no spece in front of the barrier in Academy 2!), trying to get the best pictures and stuff, whle having a great time. The Offenders are really great. John really knows how to work a crowd, it turns out!

Anyways, on uploading these, however, it fucks up halfway through, and Nate gave in for today, but there'll be better pictures soon on there. My favourites had to be the ones that cut off! Oh, apart from this one:



And, like I say, all can.. will.. be found here:
Mel Roberts: Art and Photography

Not bad since I was pretty drunk by then!


Apr. 23rd, 2008

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Photography

Hmm.

When you're doing a whole photography set plus touch ups (that could take a whole weekend) free for a band, you'd think they could at least get everything sorted. They want backstage shots, but didn't sort out how to get me there. They want on stage pictures, but haven't sorted out things with security.

Unless they want shitty camera phone pictures and me more pissed off with them, they need to get their act together!

Pfft, last time I do something nice for free!!


PS- Sorry about the lack of comments lately, I'll work my way through the friends page when I get some time to myself!

Apr. 22nd, 2008

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Dreams.

My fucking t shirt didn't come!!

I had a horrible dream last night. I'm walking around town, as I do, and then I see him. Kaz- ex boyfriend, hit me, terrified. He's across the road, walking my way. I turn.. and there's no one there behind me. I am alone.

I woke up, and well, I felt pretty alone. Without Jason or friends around me, I suppose that's just what I was.




After going to the stupid law thing (oh yea, I didn't go to his to do work, he had to babysit), I took Jason to a cool guitar shop I know about. I suppose I know all the cool shops for crap like that. We went back to the pretty place. We were messing about and talking, and then he came and lay on the grass next to me and kissed me.

"Sorry, couldn't resist", he said. We both laughed.. and then kissed again. And again and again =]

"I miss you", I said.

"I know", Jason replied. "But I'm right here."

And you know what? He is. He's always there, he loves me, and we're going to be okay. And for the first time today, I felt like I wasn't alone anymore. I love days like this.

Did I mention my fucking t shirt didn't come today??

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Lazy mornings.

I refuse to get dressed until the post comes. Today may be the day my t shirt comes.

In other news, sorry I haven't been on the ol' friends page these past couple of days, got lots of work to do.

How are you all, anyways?

Apr. 21st, 2008

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Jamie is a knob.

There's this kid called Jamie.

In my opinion, ther are people with ginger hair, and then there are ginger people. Jamie is a ginger person. And a wanker as well. He's more than mean about people- just everyone, really. Pfft.

"That kid is a fucking knob, seriously, he just fucking annoys the hell out of me", he said about one of my good friends. He can talk.

Did I tell my mate? I wouldn't even like to repeat that to someone my mate knows. I just left it, it'd do no good.


In other news, I took Jason to the pretty place today for lunch. He loved it. I did too. We had a nice time, just sitting on the bench, almost falling asleep in his lap because I was so tired. Just a nice day really put me in a great mood =] It's always sunny in the pretty place =]


The pretty place, lol

I'm going to his tomorrow to do some Law work before we go to this meeting thing, where one of the examiners is going to give a talk about the special study and stuff. I feel a bit strange about going to his house. I have no idea what his mam thinks of me these days. She got a bit angry after we had an argument after we broke up, and said I was making things worse for everyone by being how I was. I hope everything isn't uncomfrotable.

I might see Brad, too. Bradley is one of Jason's little brothers. I love him- him and Alex. I'd love to see Alex, but he'll be at school. Brad and I were like little mates, watching FiFi and the Flowertots and sharing secrets and stuff, he's a cute kid. I'm excited that I might see him, but then I might not, he might be at playgroup and stuff. I miss the babies =[

I finally have my coursework back from Lesley- pfft! This should have been done weeks ago! So sorry if I'm behind with my friends page today, but I have to go and do that now- grr! lol.

Apr. 20th, 2008

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Facebook.

Wow. There's an application on FaceBook called Compare People. For those of you who don't know, Compare People is basically where you're shown two people, and asked something like "who has a better smile?" or "who is the smartest?", and you say who you think between the two.

Well, I did this thing then, and at the end, if tells you what people think of you.

"Woah, fuck", I thought. "These are mostly people from high school on my facebook, so I'll have horrible results and will spend the rest of the day in bed eating ice cream. I clicked anyways, and well.. here you guys go.


Not bad, eh? Turns out, people do think I'm pretty cool after all =] I think this has given me some new found confidence, I might pull out all the stops tomorrow when I start college term, and show them the best Mel I can be =]

To add to the wow factor- this actually went all the way up to 28- wow =] I'd like to thank anyone who voted me for anything- I know it's only FaceBook, but it's really made me feel better about myself =]
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Discussion.

I'd like to start a discussion. A debate, if you will.

What are your views on EST (Electroconvulsive Shock Therapy)? I was talking to someone about it, and well, I'd like to talk about it.

I was also wondering, if anyone has seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, what did you get from it? What do you believe are the values and morals of the piece?

I'd like to Start, but at the same time, I'd love to hear your views unbiased by my starting points. To comprimise, here's my simple answers, I'll go into it more in replies:

EST: Wrong, disgusting.
Morals in the book/film: Getting that balance right between freedom and society.

I'll add to this post as the discussion goes on.

Apr. 18th, 2008

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I really do just post for the sake of it today.

It's friday night! I should be out! But noooo! Lol.

I haven't done any Art work today. Or yesterday. Fuck, I'll NEED to do some tomorrow.

Nothing else has really happened, but I was just letting you guys know I'm not dead or anything- why not use the comments on here to get to know each other? You might make a new friend!

Oh, Jason and I both dreamed about each other last night. Now there are arguments over where we were last night.. he says the living room, but in my dream we were in Simon's room- I am right. Always. Haha.

Apr. 17th, 2008

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4 Months.

It's only just occured to me, that in 4 months, I'm going to start driving.
I need to hurry up and make an Alkaline Trio tape for the van!


Seriously though, even though I won't have a car, it'll be a big change around here. My dad's a bit of a wanker when it comes to giving people lifts and stuff. And now I'll be  able to get us all around. It should be really cool. Also, I used to live in a place where driving was pretty important, as a few of my American friends will know about!
At the same time, as much as I'm not scared of driving at all, I do know everyone in Newcastle is going to die. Haha!

Oh man, talk about new-found independance!

Oh, and Disco-in-a-van for EVERYONE's birthday parties! LMFAO!

Note: You provide the mirror ball, I'll provide the funk.
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Where is my t shirt?

So, I think that Michael's stupid, expensive prank has forced him to wait until he's in Amsterdam to send my t shirt for cheaper shipping. Either that, or he's just sitting on the thing, knowing fine well I'm so impatient, like an arse. I'd go with the latter. He's rich, and an arse.

I want it! Lol. Finally, an Alka3 t shirt I can actually wear, all the blood pact ones are always too big!!!


(apparently, it's this one!)

Went into town today for a General Studies book. Hahahaa, I think I'm the only person who's ever bought one, General studies sucks. But, because of last year's fuck ups, I HAVE to pass it, if I want to go to Durham Stockton. Eugh.. if I even can go there.. can you imagine how difficult it's going to be getting there every day? I'll have to see what happens with moving out with Adam, not that we can get our hopes up with that either.

But y'know, I hold my hands up in the air straight off and admit, this is my fault. If I have to go to Sunderland Uni, I deserve it. I had a great start with college last year, and I decided to piss about instead. This is life, people!

But hey, even if I'm in Sunderland uni, I'll pass with fucking flying badass fuchia colours, because I'm hell bent on making all this shit right. Boo ya!


I went to Pet Sounds today. Haven't been there in years, man. Pet Sounds is this old record and t shirt shop, it's pretty cool there.

"Hey Sarah, I'm here!" I announced as I walked in the door.
"Mel! We haven't seen you here for ages"
"Yea well, you know me, I live for free, got no time for shops these days man!" (Lie: I go shopping whenever I have money, I just forgot about this place haha) "Got any Alkaline Trio shit for me?"
"Ah no, when you stopped buying them, we stoped selling them"
"Fuck"

Does no one around here like the Trio? How come there were loads of people at the gig, but none around these days who like, wear their t shirts and stuff? Newcastle's fallen victim to this whole indie and emo trends. Bad times, man.

Apr. 16th, 2008

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That shit was better than the Matrix!

So basically, I'm having a hard time at home, and Catherine invited me to tell some of my ghost stories, so I figure it'll take my mind off a lot, and scare you guys shitless. I'll save the best 'till last.

The Light.
Oh man, where do I start? Well, this one isn't scary.. I'll save the best 'till last I suppose.
One night, walking into my house after being at Jasons, I was walking into the garden when something like, went through me. No joke, I saw a white flash and something went through me, I could feel it man! That was so weird, when I think about it, I can still feel it in my chest. I wonder who it was, eh?


Bastard hit me!
Oh god, have to mention this- I had an old friend called Calum, we went way back (he started on the drugs though, and only monge smoke bongs, as you guys know). Anyways, he was at a BBQ at my aunties, and he said he was taking a slash.. and something hit him on the back of the head! Hahahaahahahaha, in my biggest laugh.


The house.. and THE CHAIR!
You'd be right in thinking these aren't scary at all (the fuck, Mel?), but I promise, they only get better. So, Ellen's house. Ellen is my auntie, and it was in her house Calum was smacked on the head when he took a piss. Anyways, her house is freaky as fuck. There is, without a doubt, something in there. We hear whispers, there's clicking, something breathes down your neck, and the cat goes mad. And you have no idea if it really happened, because nothing moves around to tell you you weren't imagining it. Unless you're in THE CHAIR.
The chair is always cold. Always. And when you sit in it, your legs go numb. I always wondered if it was my grandad, he only had one leg in the end. Either way, I've sat in it when I've had no choice, and heard some weird shit.
Oh god, and the figures. I've seen figures on the stairs, my cousin's seen them at her bed, my auntie's seen them. Sometimes you'll hear running around, but no one's there.


 

The face
Oh man, how could I forget the face? I was drunk as fuck a few years ago. Think I was about.. 14 or something, at a house party at my auntie's, and I was so drunk I was taking pictures of the cat. Looked at them the next day, there was a face in the window. And it was fucking horrible, this skeleton face. I wish I still had the picture, but we weren't too good with stopping our computer blowing up in the end.


Ellen's: Table Tipping.
So we wanted to know what the shit was in her house. And well, we were watching some fucked up thing on the TV about this kinda stuff, and Isabel goes, "let's do table tipping!". Dumb cow, lmao.
So there we were, table on the floor, the very tips of our fingers on it, asking who was there. "Dad, is it you?", Ellen asked. Suddenly, the cat goes apeshit. There's clicking noises in the dining room next to us. And the table lifts. Not shakes, but lifts, man. About an inch. We're all lookng at who could have done it as a trick. Trust me, no one. Turns out, my dead Grandad slapped Calum on the head while he was taking a piss!


The man with the funny hat
My sister Kayleigh, she's a bit of a freak really. Need to watch for those quiet ones. One time she saw my grandma about a week after she died, walking down the road.
But this isn't about that, this is about the man with the funny hat. There was a kid who lived here, who always wore a baniclava. Went up the road one day, to where we lived at the time, threw his baniclava off and killed himself on the train tracks. Poor kid.
After that, Kayleigh had what we all thought was an imaginary friend. This "man with the funny hat", who lived at the bottom of the garden. She drew this creepy ass picture that I wish I kept of him and stuff. Abouta week later, a baniclarva turns up on our doorstep.
Fuck man, lol.
After my mam got up the duff again (I love my sister Charlotte, but what was my mam thinking? She can't even look after herself), we moved into this place we're in now. Guess who lived there? The man with the funny hat. No joke. Some kind of fucked up fate, that is.


Joe
When I was 15, Joe Tait was one of my good friends. We'd hang out, me him, Calum and Robin every Saturday. When I was 15 though, Joe died. He accidentaly overdosed on anti-depressants (he was a happy kid, and had a bad time, thought his dad's meds would make him better. I guess he didn't read the bottle or something). Anyways, he loved Slipknot. And I still had his Slipknot pendant he asked me to look after at a gig.
I wore that thing every day. And every night, I could hear running up and down my stairs. I thought it was the man in the funny hat, to be honest. Every night, the same running up and down the stairs.
Well, when I was at Jason's, I took it off once (yes, har de har, you know what I was up to) and forgot to pick it up before I left. No running up and down the stairs at mine that night- nope, at Jason's instead.
Sorry Joe, but I had to get rid of it mate, I got no sleep, you coont! So I put it on your grave the next week when I visited. Love you man.


The phone.
So one night, before Jason and I got together, we were on the phone. Before Jason and I were together, we were more than aggirvated at us not being together, and we kinda took it out on each other sometimes, arguing about little things (side note: not sleeping with Racci Shay may have caused an argument, but it got us together, in a way ;]).
So one night, we're arguing about somehting, Jason's at his wits end trying not to lose me, I'm crying. Same shit at the time, glad things got a million times better later. And it cuts off.
And comes back.
"What the fuck was that?" I say.
When I said this, I was listening to Green Day (Grampy loved them) and I could smell cigars. I don't smoke cigars.
"It was a "hello". It sounded weird".
I knew.
"Did it sound.. I dunno, this is weird to say, but did it sound kind of, half Scottish, half Spanish?"
"Yes!"
Cool.

That was weird.


Here it is: hanging man in Kaz's bathroom.
This is the scariest. I'm sure I'm missing out a few stories, but whatever.
I had a boyfriend called Kaz, who you may know also as "the biggest mistake of my life". I was at his once, and went to use the bathroom. When I was washing my hands, I looked up in the mirror.
And what did I see?
A man. Hanging. In the shower. Blood on his face, all kinda shit.
I mentioned it to Kaz and his mam in the living room.
"Shit y'know what?", his mam said. "I've seen that before".

Maybe it was an omen, telling us what'd happen if we kept this kid in our lives, as Kaz hit me a couple of weeks after. I left his sorry ass at Joni's party the next day.

And yea, that was it.. now to add some pictures.. hope you guys aren't too scared. Cathrine and Amanda, don't go into labour just yet!
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Funny fucker!

So, remember how I said <Michael was sending me a t shirt from the Alkaline Trio gig from the other night? Well, this morning, I got a Fed-Ex package, saying next day delivery on it and stuff.

"Only Uncle Michael is flashy enough to pay so much money for next day delivery", I though.

Proper excited, I ripped open the package and found.. a white T shirt that said "I heart CA", and a message that reads..

Hey Mel
I bet you thought this was your Alkaline Trio T Shirt! Haha!
Oh, could you do me a favour and mail this back to my house, I like this T Shirt.
Michael.

PS- look in the pocket.


Funny fucker. Only he would spend about £20 to pull something like that.

So, I look in the pocket. I find this, from the gig.



Yep, and Alkaline Trio wristband. Wow, I haven't worn one of these since I was like, 13. How cool. Well, he's half forgiven. But I want my T shirt!!!!

In other news, I'm so goddamn bored today. Eugh!  
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Stockton.

So, I found out, my college in Durham is not St. John's.. but John Snow college. Fuck.

John Snow college is in the Queen's Campus.. not in Durham, but in Stockton. Why does this have to happen? Turns out, Adam and I are going to have to move out. This also means I need a job, and suchlike. If it takes even just half an hour to get to Stockton from Central Station, it would take me almost 2 hours to get there from home.

So basically, I have to stop pratting around on the internet, and do these things:

  • Do this Art work. This is the most important right now. Get environments out the way, and then I can put links and connections on the back burner the rest of the week.
  • Curse whoever decided I had to do Environments for ANOTHER year.
  • Get the Law stuff done. Lit can wait. Shit no it can't.
  • Oh great- do Lit work.. with no fucking help from Lesley because she kept our work for about a month. Argh.
  • Go back to college, look for a job. Properly this time. Encourage Adam to do the same.
Eugh, that's all I even WANT to do right now.. I'm going to end up killing myself with all this work I have to do. But whatever, it's my fault really. This two months I've spent depressed has hit my work. A lot.

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